Eventually you will learn in life that there are people who will always be miserable. Not because of circumstances out of their control, not because of a condition such as depression and not seeking help. It is because they like being miserable - they are so caught up in their own drama that they don’t realize that the reason they are is because they actually enjoy it. You’ll tend to notice the people who love knowing other peoples business constantly, who are obsessed with Facebook, and always gossiping to others about what they assume based on what they have “seen” through social media websites or based upon their own perception as the truth, are also the people who are most miserable. When something little happens, they blow it out of proportion as if their entire world has ended. This is because they are not only obsessed with drama but they are small minded and cannot see the big picture.
You would think that it would be quite simple to change this, but it isn’t. Most of these people go their whole lives miserable and have no one to blame but themselves. However they chose to blame everything they can. Their work place, their relationship status, their “friends”, life in general, their family, etc. They will find any outlet of blame they can use, except for accepting the simple fact that they 1. Are obsessed with drama, 2. Like being melodramatic, and 3. That their only problem with life is themselves and the way they look at things. The biggest thing about these people that really ticks me off though, is that they cannot appreciate what they have. Even when something great is happening they cannot appreciate it fully. They will always pick it apart. They take for granted great things or even simple pleasures of life that millions would kill for. And nothing makes me more mad than ungrateful people.
You cannot wait for your life to change, you cannot keep blaming the world for dealing you shit cards. If you haven’t realized by now the world isn’t fair then you will be (for lack of a better word) fucked, for the rest of your life. YOU are the change you need. And I cannot say that to people enough. Everything in your life, your entire environment is based upon your mind set. It is your attitude toward something that thus creates and manifests those emotions in everything you do. If you are always negative, you wont ever make it far in life. The real kicker here is that, the people who fight off the bad and try to stay positive living their lives being thankful for even the day to day things get bombarded by these small minded people. And sometimes that is all it takes to simply knock someone out of their positive environment. One of those silly negative nancy’s walk into anywhere they go and it’s as if you can see the cloud of darkness that follows. When this is anywhere close to your life, like the work place, your family, or your close friends it becomes such a burden to carry. And you can easily become part of the cloud of negativity. Because no matter how strong you are at ignoring it or not participating, if that is all you hear constantly, it will change your day.
So maybe some of the above points you feel might relate to you. Maybe some of the points I made about a negative person fits you. Maybe you have noticed that you can’t seem to hold down friends and the ones you do are ones who like to talk about other people. Have you noticed you talk more about other peoples lives or negatively about your own then making a positive contribution to the world? Would you start crying or bitch for hours about something as simple as your car breaking down or a random stranger who was rude to you? If you can answer yes to any of those questions I seriously urge you to take a massive look at your life. You are one of those negative people I am talking about and if you ever want to be happy, you need to do some serious work, and you need to realize that others peoples lives are non of your business. And life is not to blame for any negativity in your life. You are given what you are given and it is up to you to mold it. And most of all, it is not anyone else’s job to try to make you happy or to please you. The world isn’t here for you. The sooner you realize that, the easier being happier will become. If you don’t, the world will always be a constant disappointment.
That advise being said though, most of the time negative people never change, and guess what? They also usually never get anywhere in their life because they don’t have motivation to. To me, if I was one of those people, this question is a simple answer and it’s answer would make me want to change my life: Do you really think other people want to surround themselves with someone so negative? I sure as hell don’t. That is why I have absolutely no problem dropping people or things that bring negativity into my life. I don’t deal with that crap and I also don’t deal with grown women acting like adolescent girls gossiping. If you haven’t done something nice for someone else in the past week that can’t be repaid, or you did just to be nice (not for praise) then I urge you to do so. It can be as simple has holding a door open for people, letting someone in, in traffic. Or maybe it’s something bigger like donating clothes or volunteering (especially given it’s Christmas time). Or maybe it’s staying up all night on the phone with a friend when they are going through something tough, or taking a shift at work you didn’t really want but you are helping out a fellow co-worker (and you never complain about it once). Maybe it’s doing something nice for a complete stranger like paying for the persons order who is behind you in a drive through, or helping to pick up something someone has dropped. If you know the term pay it forward, whether you see it or not, it does work, except for the negative nancy’s throw a wrench into the works and halt these things completely if it comes to them. Because their main personality trait is being selfish. Most of the time they cannot even accept someone did something nice for them.
I think the world lacks the people who are giving, caring, and generous. Who see things for what they are and don’t let the negativity get to them. Who keeps their heads up high and doesn’t walk around talking about other peoples business which is really NON of their business. The world needs more people willing to make a positive impact. Like I said before, even if it’s just those simple little things. Or whether it’s doing something much more kind and above and beyond what anyone ever asked of you. I get we aren’t all super heros, and lets me honest here, there does have to be a natural balance. But I think there isn’t balance. I think way too many people, especially anyone living in a developed nation (or “first world nation”), North America in particular, are so ungrateful. We have all read the funny tweets and facebook status’s stating “first world problems” and sure we laugh. But you notice we laugh because it’s funny at how pathetic it is when you put it in that perspective.
I know we all hate hearing “there are people starving somewhere” when we don’t finish our food. Or when we have a problem someone saying “yah well it could have been worse, or thousands have it worse”. But it is all true, and sure we don’t need to be reminded by others constantly but it is your job to remind yourself. When you wake up every day, tell yourself how privileged you are. Being humble is a great trait to have that is so rarely found these days. Sure maybe your family life isn’t great, or you feel like you’re completely alone, or you haven’t got that one thing you really want, or your car is falling apart, or things just aren’t going your way. That doesn’t change the fact that you were born into great circumstances off the bat, and no matter where you come from, you have the resources to change where you are going to go.
So, whether you are obsessed with drama, or you are a kind and gentle soul, I urge you to wake up in the morning and reflect on your life. Sure we are busy, but just take even 5 minutes, maybe in the shower, and keep saying a list in your head of the things you have that not all people in this world get. Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have food in the fridge? Do you have money in your wallet or bank account? Do you have a car or money to get a transit pass? Do you have clean water to drink from? Do you have democratic rights? Do you have access to proper medical care? Do you have a cell phone? Do you have a computer (you do if you’re reading this)? Yes, you do. And I can tell most of you will answer yes to the majority of those questions. That means, you are part of the 8% (yes that is correct it isn’t a typo, let me say it again, EIGHT PERCENT) of the wealthiest people in the world.
I get that you could have abuse in your life, you could be depressed, you could have an eating disorder, your highschool could be the worst part of your day, you may be neglected, or you may not have the best or even good living conditions but you need to know this: you have the power to change that. It may not seem like it but try googling people who grew up in terrible living conditions who did some amazing stuff with their life. If you are obsessed with fame there are so many celebrities who have come from terrible living. There are artists, political figures, entrepreneurs, etc all around you who had to build their lives out of the ashes of a terrible living. The internet can be a tool for bad things but it is also a tool for good. If you really want to change your life you can simply by using google or asking questions. There are kids help phones, suicide hotlines, you can even talk to a grown up you respect about changing your life, you can look up your legal rights to change the condition you live in. Or you can work your butt off every single day to get to where you want to be. It’s not going to be easy, I can promise you that. And there will be days you want to give up. Don’t, the end will be worth every minute of work and effort you put in, especially if you do it without complaining.
Be thankful for the things you do have and let go of any material desires or obsessions. Stop thinking about how you feel you look, or all the little negative things you can focus on. Instead focus on every thing you have, and the possibilities of where you are going. And if the future ever becomes over whelming, take it one day at a time and believe in yourself. If you focus on all the little negative things, you just create a world and cloud of bad energy around you, which you then carry into every single area of your life making it worse. Even if you can look at one area of your life and say “that is pretty good” or “I am content with that” or “well, there is this one thing that is going okay” then you have a start. Build from there and bring the attitude of being grateful for what you have, and being hard working, and being generous along with you and I can grantee you the rest of the areas in your life will be changing, because you wont settle for less anymore. If you want a good life you have to push for a good life and build one. Sometimes that means leaving things, or people, or making big or scary decisions. But if it will help you to be happy, it will be worth it in the end, unless it is self harm.
If you can’t seem to get your mind to wrap around these concepts, you need to get outside yourself. Get away from social networking and media and visit a homeless shelter or a cancer hospital. Hear the stories of an older person who has lost almost everyone they know or the love of their life. See a pediatrics wing of a hospital and see all of those hundreds of children who are so young and innocent, who have barely lived their lives, and most of them are dying of an illness they had no control over. Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Expose yourself to the realities of the world, and as weird as it is, you need to see these terrible things to view your life in a different light. Some people wont ever fully understand how privileged they are or how lucky they have it. Some never even notice their potential. And yes, there needs to be those people in life. We can’t all achieve our dreams, we can’t all get high paying jobs or that mansion we all dream of. We can’t all get the life we wanted. But you don’t have to settle for hating your life, no matter where you are at. Be thankful. My life sure as heck isn’t perfect but I am thankful for what I have, and thankful for all the bad that has happened to get me here. You should be able to say that too.