Have you ever had people in your life that you run into on numerous occasions or that you meet and have instant chemistry with? Maybe they are someone you barely know but for some reason you have this desire to get to know them or you think of them often and don’t quite understand why. You barely know them yet after you see them you’re left feeling happy and shaky. But you don’t understand why that is and you know that you probably will never get to know them better. Did you ever consider the fact that maybe it’s because if you would have made one different choice in your life (a big one), those people would have been lead roles in your story instead of acquaintances. Maybe it is because they are bound by fate to still enter your life, to still effect you the way they would if they were your best friend, or future husband or wife. But all they will ever be is someone walking parallel to you instead of convergent. You wont ever know what they were meant to be to you but that lasting feeling you get, it is because they are someone important, just maybe something changed along the way. Or maybe something still has yet to change.
Life, more times then most, is not perfect. It is not graceful, or sympathetic, or kind. But even when life has put you through a hurricane of terrible things, you can still find contentment within your life. You find it in the arms of loved ones, you find it in your support system, you find it in the little things you love like reading or escapism tv shows, you find it in pets, but most of all you find it in family. Now some of us are not blessed with great parents, or even mediocre parents, some of us don’t even get parents present in our lives at all. But family, whether that be your immediate blood related circle, or step family, or family in law, or even friends who are the family you choose for yourself, I have learned they are what matters the most. It is in your times of need, your times of doubt, and your times of loss that your family, whoever they may be, appears. They are your support system, your guiding light, and your shoulder to cry on. But most of all, they are the people who love you unconditionally.
In my teenage years I felt family was the least important thing in life. I held hate toward things I didn’t understand, and I was disrespectful and arrogant in my age. I think a lot of teenagers are. But as I have gotten older, I have matured and I have come to understand things better. I understand the weight of the world on your shoulders and responsibility. And I know that all of that which I feel now, must be a thousand times worse as a parent. And I understand now that supporting yourself let alone a family isn’t easy, and that love, as hard as you try sometimes, does not conquer all. Life is hard work and keeping a family going is also hard work. Now that I am older, things which once seemed silly now are quite realistic and things that once seemed important are not important after all. It just took seeing things in an adults perspective. And despite any hardships or family turmoil my family has ever dealt with, I love my family more than anything. And I love my friends who never left my side, from the stubborn teenage me, to the still stubborn adult me.
And as I have gotten older, I have allowed my family closer into my life, and with that as well as communication and trust I have built better and stronger relationships with them. And through times where I have felt my life has been completely ripped apart, they have been there, supporting me. And that is more than I can ask. And as I get older, I feel as if our roles have slightly been reversed. As a kid your parents job would be to come to your sports games, or be there for a big school event, or get you ready for your dances. Now that I am older, I return the favor. I come out to events that are special, or to sports matches. I help my mother get ready to go out. Or I be the designated driver or simply take care of the house or the pets when they are away. And I don’t have the slightest bit of resentment or anger in doing so because they spent basically 20 years of their lives taking care of me.. and they still do.
And while my parents say things like “I know this is boring for you” or “you don’t have to come if you don’t want to”. What they don’t really know is that I am glad to be there. I am glad to support them. And whether I enjoy myself 100% isn’t the point. Because when you love someone unconditionally, you support them in the things they love. You do things, or go to things that maybe you wouldn’t usually, but you do it because it makes them happy and their happiness is what matters to you. And maybe my life isn’t spectacular, actually maybe things are on the downside but as I sat watching my dad’s curling game tonight and saw him smiling at me, so happy that I came, I realized that no matter how bad my life got, I would always have my family. And that means more than anything. And being able to make my father happy, made me happy and in those moments, I was content with where my life is at, even if it’s no where close to where I had wanted it to be.
So yah, I am a twenty year old. And most people my age are obsessed with going out and getting drunk and then cramming in studying the next day. But that just isn’t me and it never will be. I spent my Saturday night watching my dad play a sport he loves. I didn’t do it because I had nothing better to do and I didn’t do it because he guilted me into it. I did it because I’ve realized that as I am getting older, my parents are too. And I have had my nights out and I have had my years of barely being home. But now that I am older, I cherish the time I get with my family. And a night in, watching a movie with my family, or going to dinner with one of them, anything really spending time with them, sounds substantially better to me than going out to a club and getting wasted. My priorities aren’t living up my early twenties by partying or experiencing the college life. My priorities are to grow into the young woman I am suppose to be and part of that is growing with my family. Even if we are split up and total odd balls, learning more about my parents lives helps me to grow in mine. And why would I want to spend a night out with strangers when I can spend a night with people who I know love me no matter what.
So maybe I’m a wallflower and not your usual socialite. And maybe I am not your average twenty year old. But unconditional love is a rare thing in this day and age, which is tragic and true. But the times when you can see or find unconditional love most often is in family. And like I said, maybe you’re dysfunctional, or broken, or maybe your family is not blood related at all but your relationship or friendships. God knows my family isn’t perfect and we haven’t always gotten along. But those love’s, with those people are what matters most. And in times of doubt or hurt all you need to do is sit and look at those people and smile knowing you have someone who is willing to take a bullet for you. And your life matters to them. Despite any of your own problems or stresses and worries, I urge you to take a moment and just appreciate those people in your life. Get to know them better or spend some quality time with them because if they give you unconditional love, I can guarantee that spending even an hour with them will lighten your heart. And when the weight of the world gets you down, they are what will remind you that your life is okay because you have them.
neakyseivers asked: Your words are so inspiring! I love your blog :)
Thank you =) I appreciate it very much!
I just want a best friend, you know? Yah, I have had best friends in the past, and do consider myself to have some great friends right now. But through out my life, most of the time, non of those “best friends” gave to me in return what I give to them and I am not about to stand around getting the shorter end of the stick. I have always been the one being taken advantage of. For once I want a true friend. You know, the one that you know so well that if you ever stopped being friends you could literally call it a break up. They are your person in your life that you can always rely on without a doubt. Someone who you can be completely open with and not be afraid to be judged. You can say “I haven’t had sex in months and I am dying for fuck sakes”. Or who you can break down to and cry and they aren’t going to give you some bullshit speech because they know the difference between when you just need to not be alone and when you want their opinion. Matter of fact they aren’t going to tell you what to do with your life, they trust you to handle that. All that matters to them is your happiness and when they speak up, it’s because they can tell you are not happy. They would be someone who you don’t have to be afraid to admit the negative stuff to because they do not judge you or your life. Someone who can yell at you and tell you when you’re being ridiculous and you can get upset back at and it doesn’t change a god damn thing because you both know that you know each other well enough and care enough that it isn’t to hurt the other, it’s to help. The type of friend who the moment they hear your relationship ended they are on the phone with you asking what you need, better yet, they are at your door saying “we are going out” and they give you a spectacular night, even if it was simply going to one of your favourite places to talk. They are the person who says “call me as soon as the date is over, I want details!” and they are also the person who brings flowers while your in the hospital and reminds you how strong you are. See the thing is, a true best friend is someone who knows you as well as you know yourself, in fact, sometimes better because they are able to look at your situation away from your personal investment and make you realize things you’ve never seen before. Someone who isn’t just by your side for the good but never leaving during the bad. Who sacrifices to help you because they know you’d do the exact same. Who is willing to fight anyone because they have your back, who sticks up for you, who trusts you, and who won’t ever purposely let you down. Who messages your ex after they have spent days with you, watching the shit they have put you through, and says “You’re an asshole and you know you’ll never find anyone like her, your mistake dumb ass” because they don’t stand around and let anyone hurt you. They are someone who you can say anything to and you know that it is literally just between you and them. And a relationship never changes your friendship or the time you make for one another. These friendships exist. I know because I am one one of these people and I have done these things for other people. I just need to find someone who would do the same for me. And why is it so god damn fucking difficult? But I guess in a way, it’s sort of like finding the love of your life, but it is the friendship of your life. You think it would be easier though.. but it is a very selfish world out there, ironically filled with people looking for acceptance and love but expect to get it freely and with perks.